What do my clothes say about me?

As a Celebrant standing in front of wedding guests or in front of mourners at a funeral, I have a responsibility to my wedding couples and funeral families to look respectable, portray the occasion in an appropriate manner, and of course – be true to myself.

I’ve seen more than one photo and heard several stories where the Celebrant has appeared, ‘shabby,’ ‘unkempt’ and ‘not fitting’.  Sadly this reflects on us all as a profession. Clothes send out messages – what we wear can change how people perceive you – so here’s an insight into my wardrobe….

I’m not a guest, so nothing over the top or that attracts too much attention.

I am often asked what I wear by my bride and groom – somehow I think that the term ‘Celebrant’ conjures up weird and whacky outfits and they have a concern that I might turn up in dressed as Princess Leia from Star Wars.   Well – if you have a themed wedding, I’m all up for that and will dress as you request – however – in general –a shift dress and jacket is my personal style.

Now imagine how boring the world would be if we all dressed the same – so I’m not suggesting for one minute that we should!  I know some renowned and professional Celebrants who have a distinctive and alternative style, and I would wholly recommend them; they target an alternative market and are ‘fit for purpose’ (so to speak!).

The venue and setting can influence the style – so dress accordingly.  If I am doing a relaxed beach wedding and it’s 30⁰ Celsius – there’s no need for a jacket or court shoes; a classic summer dress and flats will do the job.

I’ve also learned from experience that putting your hair up, rather than fighting the wind and having a constant ‘head flick’ is by far the better option!

I always ask my wedding couples if there is a colour that they would prefer me to avoid, or if they would like me to try and complement their wedding colours.   In most instances, they ask me to try and fit in.

I’ve officiated weddings that have been ‘black tie,’ so I’ve worn a little black dress (a must for any [female!] Celebrant’s wardrobe), teamed with a white jacket and sparkles (you just can’t beat a bit of bling!)

It must be black – right? No not necessarily!   Yes we can mourn a loss – but increasingly people choose to Celebrate the Life of a loved one and remember the happy memories. Floral tributes are more colourful, mourners may have often been told by the deceased to ‘wear what makes you comfortable,’ and I see more and more people wearing colour.  It might be the colours of a sports team, a favourite flower (yellow sunflowers), or brightly coloured shirts to reflect a bright personality.

If I am unsure of the families (they will say if there is a special request), I will wear a navy dress and jacket, or a black dress and a coloured jacket.   I have one beautiful multi-coloured jacket that has become quite well known at my crematoriums – and without fail – mourners say how lovely it is that I wear some colour.  Past families have spotted me wearing it in the aisle of the local supermarket and coming running down for a chat!

Of course – this is not for very service – each one is individual.

Yes. And funnily enough, I get more special requests for funerals than I do for weddings!

 

• I’ve worn an off-white shift dress for a wedding – at the Bride’s request.  Her theme was all white and she didn’t want her ceremony photo’s spoiled by me wearing something that was going to be the focus of the picture.  But I was hardly ever going to upstage this footballer’s beautiful bride!
• I’ve been asked if I had a pair of very high heels to wear to officiate a funeral.  This I can do!  I have a bit of a weakness for killer heels so my reply was affirmative and quick.  The gentleman in question appreciated a well-styled lady wearing a tailored pencil skirt and high heeled court shoes.  He was a World War 2 veteran and quite a character.  It was my honour to oblige.
• I wore my white bling and sparkly jacket to another funeral.  The lady had a walk-in wardrobe of jackets and loved glitz.  It wasn’t tasteless – I toned it down with a pair of plain black trousers – and the family LOVED it.

Dress the part, wear it with style- but above all else, the best thing you can wear is self-confidence!